


Higher

by uirtus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Engaged Iwa, Hurt No Comfort, I Am Sorry, Love confession?, M/M, drunk oiks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29776278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uirtus/pseuds/uirtus
Summary: Hajime is getting married. Tooru is drunk and in love with an engaged man.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

The alcohol was warm in Tooru’s veins, his head was feeling fuzzy as he stared at the piece of white cardstock that had brought his life crashing down. One single little invitation was enough to send him into a drunken hurricane of sadness and as much as Tooru hated to admit it, anger. 

But he wasn’t angry with his best friend whom he has been in love with for so long. Or his finance to be like most people would think he would. Tooru was angry at himself, for not saying anything, for being too much of a coward. Because now, Hajime was getting married and he had asked Tooru to be his best man. 

Tooru had declined, as politely as he could. But he could still hear the sadness in Hajime’s voice as he did so. Tooru blamed it on the distance, he was in Argentia and the wedding was in Japan. But Tooru knew the reason he wouldn’t go was definitely not because of distance.

Tooru had no memory of picking up his phone that night, along with no memory of making that stupid, dumb phone call. 

“Hi Iwa-chan~,” Tooru purred into his cell phone, the tequila was heavy on his lips. “I apologize for calling you so late,” he took a pause and laughed. “Well I suppose it’s not late for you now is it?” 

Tooru slumped back onto his couch, picking up a half empty bottle from his coffee table and nestling it into his side. “I’m really mad at you right now Iwa, I thought I was just mad at me but no, I’m mad at you.” 

Tooru took a deep sigh after swigging more tequila into his mouth. “Do you want to know why?” He paused as if expecting an answer even though he was just talking to Hajime’s voicemail. “Because you never realized and now you’re marrying _her_.” Tooru spit out his last word like they were the most foul thing he had ever tasted. 

“I’ve always known that you would never return my feelings, how could you? You were a token straight, perfect child and me?” Tooru laughed out a low, sad chuckle. “I was the bane of my family's existence.” 

Tooru waved a free hand in the air as if he was shooing away the words he had just said, even through his drunk daze they still hurt. “But anyways, there was a point of me calling you and I guess it’s best if I get to it.” 

Tooru took a deep breath, “This tequila’s got me feeling pretty invincible right now so here it goes. I'm sorry if I’m being rude but I really need you here right now Iwa-chan, you’ve always been there for me and now you’re not and you’re only there for her.

“And I mean, I know I would be way more poetic about this and come up with some elaborate scheme to win you away from her but, what’s the point? There is none because you don’t feel the way I do,” Tooru ran his hand through his hair and felt as it bounced back into place. 

“But as you may have caught on by now Iwa-chan, or maybe not you always were quite dim, but this is a very much too late confession. But I’m about two bottles deep in tequila and my head and all I can think about is how, I love you.” 

Tooru reached a hand up to touch his cheek and realized a steady river of tears was flowing steadily down his face. 

Tooru got up off of his couch, ignoring the way he swayed as he stood and walked to the window. Staring out at the Argentine sky he whispered into his phone, “You light my fire, Hajime. I wish we could go back in time to highschool. Maybe I could have worked up the courage to tell you then and maybe I would have saved myself from so many miserable nights.”

Tooru leaned against the window sill of his apartment and quieted, Hajime would have thought he was passed out on the floor but then Tooru started laughing. Really laughing and it rang throughout the apartment. It died down as he apologized into the phone.

“I’m sorry Iwa-chan it’s just, I always thought it would be you to realize this was bothering me. You’ve always known when something was wrong with me but, I guess not this time. Not when it was the one thing that was driving me crazy the most, the thing that was absolutely torturing me. I really hoped you would realize Hajime,” His voice caught in his throat. 

“Anyways, I think it’s about time I hung up. I’m going to regret this but hopefully I’ll have draken enough to forget it. And please, don’t call me. I’m not sure I could talk to you after this or ever really. It may just be better if you forgot about me all together after this. And also, you have a fiance to marry tomorrow and I really don’t want to ruin that for you. And I’m sorry I’m telling you this now but I wanted to do it before you were tied down for life.” 

Tooru took a trembling breath and smiled weakly, “Goodbye Hajime and, I’m sorry.”

Tooru removed the phone from his ear and hit the button to end it all. All the years of friendship and all the hours of catching bugs in each other backyards. All the nights of Tooru spending hours in the gym overworking himself until Hajime had come to drag him home at 1 a.m. All the sleep overs and all the days spent together. All the pain and happiness. The tears and the laughs. All of it is gone now. 

That was what he wanted to do when he called, it hurt too much and it still hurt. Tooru crumpled to the ground, leaning his head against the walls of his apartment. Thousands of miles away from Japan, thousands of miles away from Hajime. 

He curled up his knees to his chest and started trembling, no, shaking. Shaking so violently that it was hard to breathe correctly. Tooru’s sobs started coming in little hitching breaths but grew into monstrous cries of pain. The wracked through his body with such great force it made his headache.

This is for the best, Tooru thought as he remained curled up on his carpet, staring at the piece of white cardstock he had received less than two months ago and cried until he was nothing more than a mass of a man who was in love with someone who he knew would never love him back. 

** Thousands of miles away Iwaizumi Hajime received a call from his best friend. **


	2. Lower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime answers Tooru's call.

Thousands of miles away Iwaizumi Hajime received a call from his best friend. 

Thousands of miles away Iwaizumi Hajime’s heart broke. 

Thousands of miles away, Iwaizumi Hajime returned the call to his best friend. 

“Hey.” 

Hajime blinked through the tears clouding his eyes, spoke around the ever growing lump in his throat. 

“I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now, and I get that,” Hajime breathed out a small pained laugh. “Um, I’m going to miss you Tooru, a lot.” 

Hajime’s voice grew tight as he continued to speak. “I can’t stop thinking about what you asked and, I guess I’m just calling to check if you’re doing okay,” He paused. “I’m not.” 

“Life is going to be really hard without you Tooru. I know I should book a flight over to Argentina right now and slap you across the face but you sounded so desperate,” The tears started flowing down his cheeks in heavy streams. 

“I hope there’s a smile back on your face soon, and a real one. Not one of the stupid ones you throw up when you want to hide, I’ve always hated those.” 

Hajime drew in a ragged, shaking breath. “I’m uh, I’m always going to be here when you need me. No matter what, Oikawa. I hope you know that, I’m begging you to know that.

“I’m always, always,  _ always _ going to be here no matter what you need. And I’ll be waiting for you. I’ll wait for as long as you need and if you need forever, take it. But I want to see you one last time someday.” 

Hajime pressed a hand over his mouth and blinked through the tears caught on his lashes, “Tooru, I don’t think I can let you go. Not now, not ever. I’m sorry I’m being so selfish but, I need you,” A small sob escaped his lips. 

“I can’t do this because you’ve always been with me. I can’t just erase you from my life like this, never like this or ever. I need to talk to you, I need to tell you so many things.” 

Now he let out an ugly cry, it wracked through his chest as he tried to speak. “Tooru I can’t let you go,” Hajime looked up at the ceiling trying to see through his tears. “I love you so much, I know it’s not the same as you love me but I can’t not have you be a part of my life.” 

Hajime pulled the phone away from his face and cried into his hand for a moment. “I’m begging you not to leave but if you really don’t want me around anymore,” His lips started to tremble, eyes growing thicker with tears. “I’ll respect that. So please,  _ please  _ tell me if you’ll come back Tooru. I need you.” 

Hajime removed the phone from his ear and hit the button to hopefully stop the end. Salvage all the years of friendship and the hours of catching bugs in each other's backyards. All of the nights Hajime dragged Tooru away from the gym at 1 a.m. All the sleepovers and all the days they spent together. All the pain and happiness. The tears and laughs. Hoping to salvage it all. 

Hajime couldn’t lose Tooru, not now, not ever. Even if Tooru chose for Hajime to stay out of his life, he wouldn’t listen because he needed him. 

Hajime’s phone sounded a few minutes later, a text. A text from Tooru. Hajime scooped up his phone with trembling hands and blinked through the tears that were blinding him from seeing the only thing he wanted to see right now. 

_ Someday, Hajime.  _

**Thousands of miles away, Oikawa Tooru sent a text.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked for a sequel and I have provided.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was heavily inspired by the song "Higher" by Rihanna.  
> This is also a sad head cannon I have of something that would 100% happen if Iwaoi didn't date in highschool.  
> Actually, all my one-shots are based off of personal head cannons so if you want me to write on of yours I will gladly do it. I will always take a chance for practice writing. Just comment what you want and your wish is my command.


End file.
